Question:

Look I have a life and I do not want to be thought of as just another crazy fool...but I can not go on without telling this to someone. I have family in St. George, Utah, on my last visit there I went for a drive alone to explore some of the places I went when I lived there as a child.

North of St. George there is a trail that me and my friends would go hiking on when we were kids. Well I went back there on my last visit and the trail had changed but was still there after all of these years.

I can't remember most of what my friends and I had done on that trail, or why we even went there so many times back then. It was about 11:00 PM October 17, 1999 when I went back for the first time since I was about 12 years old.

All I can say is that a feeling of fear came over me that I can't put into words....I felt compelled to walk down the old faded dusty trail anyway. I grabbed my flashlight and headed out. I had an overwhelming need to keep going even though my fear was growing.

Then it happened. The brightest light I have ever seen was on the near horizon. All I can remember is falling to my knees and seeing a dark figure moving toward me. The next thing I knew I was back in my car and it was day again...7:55 AM on the clock in my car.

I wish I knew more about what happened...some things come to me in flashes in my mind...in some of these visions I am a child and some I am an adult...It seems so damned real.

I can't sleep now. I don't eat right. My wife and kids are gone now. My wife told me that she does not know me any more. I have never said anything about this to anyone not even my wife.

I am able to work and I am doing quite well at my job. It is the only place where I do not think about what happened. I can get into my work and I feel well. But as soon as I head home I become consumed with this and it is taking its toll on me.

Well I guess that is all I have to say for now. Please don't make a big deal of this. I just had to tell someone. I do feel a little better now. Thank you for your time.

Answer:

We get letters like yours everyday from people just like you. So, you are not crazy. You just can't explain the odd thing which happened to you. We have quite a bit of information on this fear reaction already at the web site, but basically, the emotionality lives on even if an abduction event can't be remembered. So, if you were previously abducted or had some terrifying encounter on that trail, which it sounds like you did, your mind remembers the fear even if the event is buried deep inside your brain.

If something happened again to you recently, it will leak out in the form of flashback memories or nightmares. If this stuff is part of your life, then it has been happening to you since you were a child. As for your family, I hope you can resurrect that situation. This is not the time to be abandoned! Getting through this can be very difficult.